yumesan: (Default)
[personal profile] yumesan posting in [community profile] child_free
So I find myself in a bit of a bind recently, and could really use some advice.

I first met J about a decade ago when I joined an amateur Sailormoon-based performance group. We had quite a bit in common and had a number of mutual interests to delve into being good friends. It also helped that I was moving back into the place I'd spent my early years (and had lots of family) and she helped a lot in helping me resettle and make new friends. At the time I was also moving from a VERY conservative area into a new mindset and she was amazingly patient/helpful while I re-evaluated some major things in my life including an emotionally abusive non-custody parent and my own sexuality. I was in a whole new world and she was one of several who encouraged me as I learned how to swim.

Of course years pass, adventures happen, interests shift with the trends. I took my first non-family trip with her to Japan, was part of her wedding, and always kept good contact over the years even when she moved an hour south with her husband and started a new job.

However, recently J has joined the fandom called 'new baby'. I ended up taking two of my cousins off my facebook feed after they joined that fandom and couldn't prevent them from joining the 'multiple-daily meme'. You know, the one which urges posting pictures of Baby X doing one of three activities: Sleeping, Awake, or Making A Mess. I didn't miss either one of them terribly since we haven't regularly communicated in years and I've wanted to beat them both with the Common Sense Bat(tm) for over a decade anyways. I really don't want to do that to J though. Her husband is a police officer, she works at an airport, they both have an amazing sense of humor and usually post pictures or stories that I love to see. I REALLY don't want to shuffle J off to Ignore Land just because she's joined the Parenthood Fandom. I do understand that she's excited about the new addition to her family and wants to share with the world. But really? I adopted a fabulously bossy Brittish shorthair three years ago but was very careful about oversharing the pics and TMI to the tolerant public.

So what I really need advice on is how to tell her that seeing ten pictures of Baby X still isn't my fandom following and to request she form a Baby Filter towards those who like and comment to those pictures. I don't care if she posts play-by-play posts since I can scroll by those after reading three words, but the pics just make me want to beat my head against a wall. I see enough of the Sleep/Awake/Messy meme by working big-box retail, don't need it on my facebook!

(no subject)

Date: 2014-09-08 11:47 pm (UTC)
dinogrrl: nebula!A (Default)
From: [personal profile] dinogrrl
Not sure how relevant your post is to your situation now (hurray for backlogged community posts), but is there a way to filter what you read on facebook so the other person doesn't know? I'm not on facebook so I don't have any clue, but a lot of sites have some way to group together certain friends or posts so you don't have to read them if you don't want to, or condense them into once-a-day feed posts, or stuff like that.

Otherwise, seeing as you wish to preserve the friendship, my only advice really is just to ignore those posts as best you can.
Or you can do what we do at work (I work at a vet clinic), and for every baby picture a coworker shares, a baby-less person shares a photo of their pets. :p

(no subject)

Date: 2014-09-08 11:53 pm (UTC)
sathari: (CF freedom)
From: [personal profile] sathari
Oh, man, that's rough! I don't know much about Facebook, but is there a way to filter on your end, like if you can get her to tag the baby pictures and then you can filter out that tag (as I understand it that's how tumblr savior works, but I know even less about tumblr than I do Facebook)? Also, apologies for not seeing that this was backlogged on my first pass!
Edited (Damn autocorrect and updated) Date: 2014-09-08 11:57 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2014-09-09 01:15 pm (UTC)
manycolored: "Fortunately I am immune to its effect." (Default)
From: [personal profile] manycolored
I'm a weirdo child free person in that I think babies are actually quite adorable. I mean... they're mammals. I like young mammals in general. Doesn't mean I want one or want to interact with one on a personal basis...

But I get what you mean because I have friends who keep trying to get me to play something called Cookie Jam. And before that, Bejeweled Blitz. And before that, Farmville. WTF?

Anyway, what I do when a friend is spamming me with something utterly uninteresting is that I just mute them on that social media site and then try to make up for it by seeing them more in person or talking on the phone, by email, etc.

If you think your friend might be upset that you muted or defriended her, and she's not going to like, "I find your baby pictures so boring I actually passed out and dropped my phone," you can say something about going on a social media diet or streamlining your feed so that you don't have to scroll through pictures or something.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-09-13 10:49 am (UTC)
acidrica: ([Finn] Let me just squirt this in my eye)
From: [personal profile] acidrica
I don't have any advice besides just...saying so? As politely as possible. If it's truly a lot, hopefully she'd understand.

I would freak though. I have a literal fear of babies, so I have to block the word 'baby' on tumblr. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. :C

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